i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
