i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
