I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
