If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
