white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
