my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
