Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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