I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I look better un-naked...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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