Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
