you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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