I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
