OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
