I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
