Don't make out with my wife yet
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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