At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
