I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I need a beard to bite.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
