sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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