vagina is talking i cant
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
