It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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