i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
