No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
