This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
