Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
