ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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