Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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