I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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