We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
