420 ftw
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
