Ambien. No doubt about it.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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