I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
