there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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