I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
