his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
