lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
