She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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