how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
