You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
