spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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