dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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