the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
