Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
