just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
