Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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