I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
