worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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