I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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