Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
