I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
