This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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