I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
